MissedCall

I feel an ache in my heart when the phone rings

My fingers tremble before I look at the screen

Will he call me back I think? Could that be him? Everyone thinks I am aching for the call of a lover

A partner perhaps a bestfriend?

But they do not know half the truth,

The complex labyrinth of our tale

It rings and I wonder if it's your name, every time

Regardless of how many years pass by without hearing your voice

Regardless of the fact that you have blocked me

I wonder, could it be your name?

I leave my phone anxiously under my pillow.

You will call one day, I say it but don't even believe it.

I call you and wonder if today will be the day you answer

And if you do will I be smiling or crying?

You are cruel and loving and I never know which version I will get

Yet I call and hope for the best.

That today you will be loving.

It rings and you decline..

At least I know my name has crossed your mind

Do you feel an ache when you see my name on the screen?

Or have you labeled me unknown, refusing to grant me the dignity of even a name

I wonder about you a lot, my doctor tells me never to call

But you are the only rope I have to the kids I call my own

Like a mother I grief, wondering if you will allow me to hear their voice

Even if it means I must hear yours

Yet you never answer.

And I dont know how many years will pass before I gather the courage to call again.

The saddest part is this poem will never be about a lover

but it will always be about you..